The Maple Donut

I really love donuts.

Correction. I really love some donuts. More on that later.

I also have an unhealthy relationship to food. Sometimes I eat it because I want to eat, and sometimes I do it because I’m stressed out and I’m looking for a reprieve, and usually I can’t tell the difference.

So…I do this thing where I agonize, literally going back and forth over whether I should have a donut (or any sweet thing for that matter, but let’s stick with donuts for this discussion). If fills my brain and I just want it so badly, enough that it’s hard to focus on other things. I also know I probably shouldn’t eat it. It’s not good for me, and if I make it a habit—which I do—it’s worse.

If I have the presence of mind, I try to think about how I’ll feel after the donut. Will I be satisfied and think “yeah, that hit the spot” or will I still feel hungry (read: stressed)? I also think about environmental factors. Do I want the donut because I see it in front of me, or am I craving it absent of any obvious temptation?

My reasoning (sound or not) is that if I will be satisfied by the experience, my craving is genuine. For whatever that means.

I don’t love Maple Donuts

My decision tree hits a major stumbling block however, if the think I’ve been craving isn’t what’s available. I love chocolate donuts. Maple donuts are okay, but they just don’t do anything for me. When I eat one it feels like a waste of money and calories. I’ll still do it, but the chances are higher that I won’t feel sated afterwards, just self-loathing.

So I try, when my willpower holds, to say no to the maple donut. If I’m going to spend the money and incur the detrimental effects on my health and body of eating a donut, at least it’s going to be one I really want.

And that’s my take on a lot of things. I’m okay spending a lot of money or time or energy or whatever it takes on something that is really worthwhile, but I try to recognize more maple donuts in my life and say no to them. They maybe just right for someone else, but maybe my attention is better served somewhere else.

That seems a healthy choice. I think. I would love to make it with less agonizing and distracting brain thoughts, but brain is gonna brain, right?

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